Lost
by ShadowDianne
Summary: "You were the one who actually kissed me" She said, her voice cold now, taunting "On a banquet Arthur gave in our honor. I still remember the way you approached me while I was with the kid, looking at the lake, pretending to be skipping stones."


**A/N This story was heavily influenced by the song "Control" by Halsey. However, this is not a songfic (albeit if you want to listen to the song on repeat I highly recommend it ^^)**

 **I REALLY love the dark one, the delicious darkness that is so blatantly there that I've been itching since Sunday to sit and write pages after pages of just her alone and since yesterday I wrote something in Spanish today it was the turn for this little thing ^^**

 **Disclaimer: C'mon, if I owned them I would be already making them kiss each other and leave the two mascots at one side of the road.**

Lost

Condensation and mold covered the walls of the cave, the sound of the cold drops falling from the ceiling made by solid rock and impacting against the drilled rock a few meters below creating minute sounds that seemed like the ghostly steps of the ones that had previously saw the place, lived in it, unable to free themselves. Everything else, from the buzzing insects to the unwavering echo from the rest of the passages near the entrance of the cave was surrounded by silence.

The air was putrid, a mix of rotten corpses and wasted magic tainting the air of the cave, making it almost unbearable. Almost.

Here and there the marks of teeth signaled the place as the old nest of dragons, the biggest ones in the entire realms. However, those colossal creatures were dead, buried on the infernal place that seemed to have absorbed them back inside of it, feeding on the darkness of the waiting creatures.

Green eyes opened, glinting on the near darkness of the place with a feverish glow that was soon followed by something between a cackle and a sob, the murmurs that sound stole from the cave's walls making the few scattered torches to titillate, the fire threatening to die.

Not like she could actually do that, she thought somberly, her hands at her sides, taking notice of everything with soulless eyes. Looking at one particular drop that rolled down one of the bars that surrounded the platform of rock and wood that had been built around her, Emma raised one brow, unperturbed by the cold that bite her skin, barely covered in black colored rags that had been dirty white once. Almost a poetic irony she thought, tilting her head to one said and insinuating a smile that didn't reach the rest of her features. Definitely an irony.

Rising her left hand she let her power run out free, grabbing the drop with it and turning it into ice that promptly exploded under another command of her hand. A simple trick. One that would never cross the invisible line between her and the other side of the prison.

 _I thought you wanted to stay here_

With a crack one of the torches died, the shadows gaining even more land as they tried to reach Emma, their fingers licking her figure as her eyes stare at it, lazily, waiting for that to be over but not caring enough to actually do what she was expected for, not yet at least. Magic and shadows were now her domain after all. Her concentration was broken by the sound of chains being removed and the echo of steps on her direction, voices muttering quietly, still hidden by the long corridors of the maze.

However, she didn't reach for the bars, snarling at the dying lights of the torches with practiced disdain. The first days she had reached for them, peering between them. But those days were long gone and as every new day passed by with it it went another part of her.

She could hear the two different steps approaching man, their auras, one practically dripping of magic, magic that made her smirk, calling for her.

She didn't remember why that was a bad thing.

Finally the steps reached the entrance of the cave and faltered the seconds it was needed to open the magical induced door that added another layer, just in case they had said. And she had knew it was over.

 _I wonder if she will do it today_

Sitting away as far as she was able from the bars she closed her eyes, wishing away Rumple's maniacs laughter. A part of her still hold hope. She was the hope after all. _Had been_ at least, for a very long time.

The voice of Arthur was the first thing that filled the immense cavern, one in where Emma had heard about being the last nest of all, the one that had been destroyed with the help of thousands of knights. Folding her hands on her lap she waited for the tell-tale mutters of her at the other side. She didn't need to wait long

The gasp followed the man's voice quickly but she didn't look up, pretending to be asleep. Or at least far away.

 _Sleep, what a delightful stupidity_

"Emma" The name, even if she hated it, gave her hope for another day, hope that this day would be her last. Opening her eyes and staring at the chocolate colored eyes of a particular brunette she let out a grimly smile, one she knew it didn't reach her eyes anymore.

She could almost feel Regina's eyes on her, taking notice on the small difference on her skin –whiter everyday- on her hair –colorless now- or on the way her body seemed permanently crouched from pain. And Emma would tell her, if she could, that yes, it was unbearable. But she wouldn't. It wasn't going to change a thing.

"Regina" She replied, mockingly, her eyes hurting because of the lights of the torch Arthur hold, looking ahead, not even bothering to see her. And Emma couldn't fault him. It had been days since her parents had even tried to come. And Hook had even stopped trying after the first days in where her skin started to lose her color.

Regina licked her lips, her eyes now looking at her hands where the dagger was, glimmering in the same sadistic way it always did, calling for her, whispering her words in old languages she hadn't understood at first.

Emma let the hope grow for another day, the chains that kept her in place clanking when she moved slightly, hating herself for approaching the bars looking at nothing else but Regina. Regina holding the dagger, clutching into it.

 _She won't do it today_

The air between them cracked with unstable magic, magic that hit the bars and buzzed as the magical induced iron kept the magic at bay, the air filling suddenly with the dour of ozone, a nice change for the blonde's.

She had hold hope at first, she mused, now everything was just mechanical; living another day, losing herself another day. Waiting. Hope had turned from a sweet feeling into a bitter taste on the roof of her mouth, her soul rotting so quickly she had almost missed it. It was funny to see how she, the so called savior, couldn't even control her homicidal urges anymore.

Glancing at the brunette's right where the last two guards stood, dead, she smirked. They had tried her to force her out. Morons.

Regina's right hand trembled as she rose the dagger and Emma narrowed her eyes, one of her hands touching the bars, ignoring the pain she suddenly felt.

"Do it" She commanded, pleaded even. And she knew that Regina could hear the plea on her words, had been hearing since Emma had entered on her room, smiling when she realized that she was still alone, not Robin, and had asked her for help.

Help that Regina had been unable to provide, to use it on her. And now there they were, waiting for a day in where Regina was prepared to finish her, like she had asked. Before everything went even further than it already had.

 _Kill me_

Regina's eyes were filled with the same glint every day, a glint that had made Emma swallow as she had stood there those first days, waiting. It hadn't been too late back then, but now, she thought, was almost impossible. And even then she still had a small flicker of hope, one that died a little more with each passing day.

Her hand was taken out of the bars like every time Regina came to visit her and she relished on the soft contact, her whole body seeming suddenly less hurting, less destroyed, less fragmented.

She had stopped to even ask why even if those first days she had demanded for an explanation. She only waited until the other woman's lips were on her fingers, a wave of pure relief washing over her, erasing for a millisecond not only the pain but the dark magic's presence. One that became harder to disappear day by day, each day becoming more apparent that she had no hope, no until Regina did was she had asked her to do it.

Because Emma knew that Regina would never do the other option, uncertainty filling her eyes every time she kissed her hand, a wave of relief and wonder crossing over her features before being hidden under more fear and longing, one that Emma had become to hate.

 _True love kiss, an even crueler irony._

The woman hadn't had so many options, the dagger or a kiss, a kiss she would never give to her, a kiss she would never get. And because of that, because of Regina's fear, because of Regina's apparent incapacity to kill her, she stood there, changing with every passing day, losing herself.

"Regina" She repeated, a warning that sounded even colder than a few hours before.

The name was effective enough for Regina to take a step back and regard Emma, her features changing again illuminated by Arthur's torch, the men still unmoving. Not like she minded, she had ripped his heart out the second he had tried to kill her, adducing she was far too dangerous.

Funny how things worked.

"I'm sorry" The brunette said and the words were too used now to even mean anything but a list of letters that echoed on Emma's ears.

She knew she was sorry, she knew what it was coming.

"Will you kill me?" She heard herself saying, a reminiscence of the woman she wasn't anymore.

Regina didn't answer, torn.

Smiling cruelly Emma grabbed the bars with both of her hands, the pain and burn on them barely noticeable for her anymore.

"Will you kiss me?" She demanded and this time the giggle that escaped her lips at the end was dark, tired, hateful.

"I can't" Regina replied, her lips trembling, the dagger still clutched on her hands, reflecting the light, the way the two women stood, looking at each other. Unable to look away.

And Emma knew that she was going to wait another day, another day in where Regina decided to come down the catacombs and see if there it was still something that could be called Emma anymore.

"You are a coward" She heard herself saying, her lips now almost touching the bars, one of her hands almost caressing Regina's face who stood, unflinching. Even when her cold fingers touched her and a wave of power run over the two of them, unlimited. "I asked you to do it"

"You asked me to save you" Regina whispered and Emma shrugged, not bothering to even address the technicalities anymore.

"I won't be me any longer" She addressed and she could see that Regina knew she was telling the truth. There was too little of her that still lived inside. And she was grateful for that. No more cries, no more desperate pleas.

No more hope.

She turned and waited until Regina crossed the doors once again, her steps unsteady now, as always. She had long ago stopped questioning why, why Regina insisted on having her trapped instead of doing what was a question with two possible decisions.

It didn't matter she thought, sitting and staring back to the mold and water that covered the place, the sound of bats and rats now catching her attention. She wasn't going to be there for long.

Smiling coldly she caressed the vial of ink she had managed to snatch from the last troubadour that had tried to narrate her story. The place was certainly filled with fools.

 _A curse_

* * *

"You didn't tried" Emma finished and the sound of the waves crashing against the deck stole the first words that Regina tried to say "Even when we realized what you needed to do. That's why it doesn't matter how much you say it; you are no savior. And you failed"

Looking again at the older woman Emma, the dark one, tilted her head, trying to see what her body had seen on the woman in front of her, why she still felt it behind the hate and unwavering feeling of betrayal.

It didn't matter anymore though since Regina looked back at her with pain-filled eyes and the same glint of uneasiness that she had seen that night before even decided that if she wasn't going to be killed at least she could be on the safest prison of the kingdom until Regina took a decision.

"You were the one who actually kissed me" She said, her voice cold now, taunting "On a banquet Arthur gave in our honor. I still remember the way you approached me while I was with the kid, looking at the lake, pretending to be skipping stones."

"But when we realized that in fact your kiss had the power to bring her back you recoiled and you asked me to help you find another way. You sounded so desperate that you made me even want to do it. For you. Stupid isn't it?"

Emma smirked, not bothering to mask the hate inside of her, her chin held up high, her cold eyes staring right into Regina's.

"But days passed and I was starting to not be me anymore and soon enough we found that we had only two options; kill or…"

"Stop" Regina said, making Emma let out a bitter laugh, one that made the air between them glow in purples and blues.

"Why should I? You didn't even try to listen to me when I asked you to do it. I'm not Emma anymore Regina, you should know that"

They stared at each other and Emma kept smirking.

"You can do what you want" She finally said "But the first day after I was incarcerated you came in and told me that you couldn't kill me, that you wouldn't, and then I realized that I was going to be there, forever, since you couldn't pick up the solution I needed"

"I… "Regina didn't answer to that, and it was probably for the best now since everything Emma could see was red.

"You are no savior" Emma spitted out "And that's why this curse hasn't one, because the savior died with me"

She raised one hand, letting the magic run free for a second, a cloud of dark magic hiding her digits, glimmering under the Storybrooke's sun.

"You were right though" She conceded "Hope was the most excruciating pain of all. Hope to find my end the following day, the day you would be able to do it. Hope for listening that you had realized what that kiss meant, hope that hurt me more than what you would probably try while attempting to stop me"

"Thing is" She added, her eyes glowing madly "That there isn't many things that can stop me. I took care of that"

They stared at each other, Regina with her lips pursed, still unable to say something after Emma's revelation.

"So, what is going to be this time your majesty?" Emma taunted, moving closer to Regina, grabbing the hand in the same way Regina had grabbed hers every time as she lost herself Kissing the knuckles of the brunette she stared at her, waiting for a reaction, one that didn't even came. "Are you going to kill me?"

And with that she was gone, the sound of the sea the last thing she heard alongside with a breathy Emma that she forced herself to not acknowledge.

There wasn't anything else to say, she had already said it all.

* * *

The sound of the chains being removed made her smirk, her own chains hanging limply at her sides, her fingers still dripping ink into the floor.

The flickering light of the torch bathed the place she would normally be in and she took pleasure on the way Arthur called for her, commanding her.

Until the drying ink was visible and with it her, standing as tall as she was, a maniacal smile on her face.

"Hello dear" She mocked, looking straightly at Regina, her eyes filled with sarcasm, her lips upturned into a grimace that couldn't be called a smile anymore. "Missed me?"


End file.
